“Here you go, Ma’am. You can board your flight
from Gate Number 2 on the first floor”, said the airline staff,
handing over the boarding pass. Grace left quickly without looking at
her. She hated forcing a smile without a reason.
Besides, that lady had already irked her by asking whether she was
pregnant. “Why do you ask?”, Grace had replied. “Ma’am, our
new policy requires us to know whether a female passenger above
thirty is carrying a child. We would require your consent on a form”,
the staff said. Grace threw a cold “No, I am not pregnant!” and
reflected back at the topic on which she had been questioned so many
times over the last few years that the doubts had, at least
partially, transferred from her ‘well-wishers’ to her own brain.
Forget about having a child, Grace had not even thought about getting
married! Right after completing her education, she took up a job. And
boy, she knew she was good at it! There had been no looking back
since then. Slowly and steadily, she climbed every step she could,
and now she had reached a position where she was indispensable for her
firm. She did not get it by chance, or by favours; she had to earn
every bit of it. This was the only thing she was good at and the only
thing she could possibly do all her life! She was aware that
all her friends or girls of her age in the family were, by this time,
well-settled, married, and busy raising children.
Grace had been, after all, brought up in a
close-knit Indian family. It is not that she looked down upon such
ideas or did not value them; she simply did not consider these as her
priority because she was ignorant in a way, perhaps a little stupid
and mostly so much engrossed in her work that she did not have time
to let these ideas invade her thoughts. Her relatives, though, left
no stone unturned to remind her of the duties she was supposed to do.
When the ‘tradition’ card failed, they tried to go the logical
way and emphasized on the importance of companionship. Grace knew
that companionship, if gone wrong, has the potential to ruin a
person’s life. She had, hence, learned this ability to turn blind.
The only thing which she trusted, which never failed her nor will ever
leave her, which has truly awarded her every time she has put in
efforts towards it, was her work. In her own small mind-palace, her
work gave her the joy of ruling the world. And who would want to give
up ruling the whole world for building a petty little family? It is
not that she hadn't pondered upon the idea that she may not be very
normal, but Grace never realized when such issues stopped mattering to her. She really had grown up.
“We request you to please store your luggage in
the overhead bins or beneath the seat in front of you”, the cabin
crew announced as Grace took her seat. She liked an aisle seat, and
always preferred boarding after everyone else. Standing in a queue
repelled her.
This was a low-cost-airline flight. Not something
Grace would choose; but this assignment was of a new kind and it
involved going to places which were not popular flight destinations.
This was the only direct flight, and Grace did decide for this travel
pretty late. After she was seated, she saw a woman take the seat on
the other side of the aisle. She was an elderly lady, in a
wheelchair, travelling with her middle-aged son who sat on the middle
seat right next to her. Even with the help of the airline ground
staff, it was fairly difficult to transfer her from the wheelchair to
the seat as she could barely walk or balance herself on her feet.
Grace’s already pestered mind got saddened at
the sight. Why do people grow so old that they can’t help
themselves? She would never want to get into such a situation
herself. Never, ever! She remembered how her grandmother was
bed-ridden for a long time and she suffered so much! With this
thought, a sudden gush of cold air blew past Grace. She almost
skipped a heart-beat! Her grandmother!
The only human being whom Grace could lend a piece
of her heart to, was her grandmother. Her love for Grace was
unfathomable, and Grace also knew that her grandmother could be the
only source of peace if everything else in this world had lost its
meaning.
It was a warm summer night two years ago; Grace
had to finish a work assignment in two days’ time. She had left her hometown for her job long back, and by this time, her frequency
of calling home had reduced to once a week or so. She had, by then,
also developed the habit of taking alcohol during long hours of work.
It increased her efficiency, and helped her forget everything else.
Often, she would work from home, with a bottle of hard liquor for the
night, and work like nothing else existed. She worked like a dog for
that project. In the foolishness of it all, she did not step out of
the house for some days together, and had not even checked her phone
which ran out of charge. By the time she could gain her sanity back,
it was too late. She rushed back home, only to see her father
return home after performing her grandmother’s last rites.
There are some griefs that turn a person’s whole world topsy-turvy. And then, there are sorrows
which simply and quietly turn a person cold. In Grace’s case, it
was the latter. It slowly, but surely, dampened her emotions and she
became neutral to every thought that came to her. At one point, she
would hold herself responsible for not being able to see her
grandmother one last time. At another, she would loathe the fact that she had
allowed herself to be so attached to her grandmother’s love
that it pained. At times when she would want to recollect the last
time she saw her grandmother, she remembered nothing! She would close
her eyes forcibly and from deep inside, die to see her grandmother’s
smiling face for one last time! She could see nothing! It was as if
some reaction inside her brain had wiped out the last trace of her
grandmother’s memories. Or, was her grandmother so cross with her
that she would not want to come to her, even in her thoughts? And all
this while, there was only one thing which would reciprocate Grace’s
coldness with solidarity, and she clutched onto it with all her
might. It was her work!
“I need to use the wash-room”, the aged lady
told one of the flight attendants after she boarded the flight.
“Ma’am, we are taking off now, I will get back to you after the
take-off is complete”, the flight attendant replied and went back
to her seat. The flight was quite crowded. The idea of proximity to
so many people for a considerable 4 hours of travel had put Grace
off, but she had no option. The lady looked at Grace and smiled.
Grace could understand that she was in discomfort, but she said
nothing. She desperately wanted to put her headphones on, but since
no electronic devices were allowed at that time, Grace simply closed
her eyes and pretended to sleep, to ward off any conversation
that could likely have started.
“Ladies and gentleman, we have completed the
take-off, however, due to turbulent weather, you are requested to
remain seated with your seat belts on”, the crew announced. Grace
felt somewhat worried. She knew how difficult it was to control
nature’s call at such an old age. But why would she need to worry
about a stranger when her own son was beside her? Grace dropped the
idea and started listening to music. Several minutes later, the
turbulence had reduced and the crew started their on-board sale of
food items and merchandise, while the seat belt sign was still on.
What? Did they forget that the old lady had asked for their help? In
a momentary impulse, Grace did something very unlike her. “May I
help you, Aunty?” Grace asked that lady. “Oh, that’s sweet of
you, but I have already informed the crew, they will come”, she
replied. “They have moved ahead with their cart of merchandise, Aunty! I
am not sure when they will come. Here, let me take you to
the wash-room”, Grace offered, almost involuntarily. She did not
realize why she was doing it.
Grace got up from her seat and started helping the
lady. Her son on the next seat, like most people on this flight, was
fast asleep. This was an early morning flight and the passengers
clearly had not had enough sleep the previous night. For Grace,
staying up two nights in a row had by now become a regular habit, so
she did not realize any difference. She opened the lady’s seat
belt, and tried to pull her up. The old lady gave in the best effort
she could give, and stood up. Slowly she could move one step, with
Grace’s support, and then another. Finally, they reached the
wash-room. Grace helped her with her clothes, and made her use the
closet. This came as a surprise to Grace herself. She was usually very fussy about using the toilet properly, and when she would
see her friends cleaning their childrens' wastes, she almost felt
like vomiting. If motherhood entailed doing that,
she was way better off the way she was.
But look at Grace, now! She was helping an elderly
adult, a stranger, and literally doing what a mother does to a child!
And after the old lady was done, she slowly brought her back. It was
very tough and tiring for her, for Grace was not very well-built. The
flight attendants had reached closer to their seats by this time and
offered their help to place the lady back in her seat. The old lady
had made tremendous efforts to stand and walk on her feet, as much as
she possibly could and she was tired, too. Grace realized that this
lady was not a person who liked to depend on others, but she had
to do it as she had no other choice. “Thank you!”, the lady said
in a very soft voice, looking at Grace after she was placed back to
her seat. “You are not related to her? Oh, thank you so much for
your help, Ma’am”, the cabin attendants looked surprised, and
obliged. They realized that they had forgotten about the lady’s
call for help since no call-lights were still on, and when they had
seen Grace help her, they could not join as they had already moved
ahead with their large cart full of food and merchandise. Grace
placed herself on her seat, put the seatbelt on, and looked at the
old lady. A smile lit up on Grace’s face. It was an unforced smile
in years! She turned her head and closed her eyes. It was silent all
around, and all she could now see was a very bright light and a
smiling, aged, wrinkled face that she knew too well.